The English language is hard and if you did not pay close attention in English class you might find yourself making a mistake or two. Now, the internet is a wonderful thing but a feature of it that can easily make you regretful is that our comments live on forever. This means that some of the things we write online can truly come back to haunt us. This is surely the case for folks whose comments end up on Reddit’s BoneAppleTea forum. There, users share instances of malapropism which is the mistaken use of a word in place of a similar-sounding one.
Malapropism is often hilarious especially when it happens online because we often overlook these mistakes in everyday conversation. The BoneAppleTea forum is a celebration of stupidity in that it showcases the ways in which we butcher the English language. Using the user-submitted comments on the forum, we found a number of hilarious comments from folks who could have benefited from more attention paid in English class. Here are our very favorite instances of malapropism for you to enjoy!
Check Out These Comments from Folks Who Should Have Paid Better Attention in English Class!
No Sense
“No comment sense” is right! While we might have wanted “common sense” here, English class was sorely missed on someone. Please, remember to use your “comment sense,” folks!
No Gas
Malapropism is best enjoyed in the wild and we find it on a gas pump in the photo above to remind us that “’til” and “tell” are two completely different words. But, if you do see Friday, please “tell” her about it.
Graduations!
We suppose becoming a parent is a type of graduation but we’re certain this person meant “congratulations.” Someone should have actually graduated from their English class.
A Defining Moment
While we might be so lucky to “define” gravity, we believe that this person meant “defying.” Good for this person’s homie, no matter what they intended.
From the Gecko
Yes, we all must be alert from the “gecko” when embarking on a new relationship. However, we’re pretty sure this person meant “get-go.”
Candle Arbour
Apparently, people who list things for sale online should have really studied harder in English class. More than any other type of posting, listings showed up in the BoneAppleTea forum again and again. We find a “candle arbour” for sale here instead of a “candelabra.”
Just Not Shore
There’s so much uncertainty these days but we implore you to be “sure” about things as opposed to “shore.” People, take a moment to check in with yourself.
Maybe Don’t Eat Here
“We apologize for the incontinence” is not something anyone would want to read from a place serving food. Inconvenience is expected but incontinence is just unacceptable. Stay strong, folks.
The Key to Her Heart
For the love of god! Chicken Parmesan is a dish and “chicken permission” is just, we’re not exactly sure (shore!) what that could be. Stay in English class or you too could be waxing poetic about “chicken permission.”
On Sent-Sir-Ship
We’re going to go out on a limb here and state that any comment that starts with “People with common sense” comes from a person with absolutely no common sense. If this person had any, they would know that it’s “censor” and not “sent-sir.”
It Really Is Dire
Sometimes a malapropism is so wrong it is right. In fact, we agree that diarrhoea does mean “dire rear.” We sincerely hope this person is feeling better today and in a less dire state.
Hmmmm?
One could make the argument that a missionary is a “Catholic converter” but we’re sure (shore!) the person who missed English class meant “catalytic converter.” Keep your wits about you, people!
Sour Deans
If you need to take a break from this list, we totally understand. After reading “packed like sour deans” instead of “packed like sardines” you might be questioning how anyone made it through English class.
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They Just Might
Concussions are no joke! Want proof? This person who hit their head believed that they had a “caucasian” instead. Wear a helmet or potentially suffer the same fate.
Want to So Render?
We “so render” ourselves to the fact that a great many Americans should return to English class. How does one mix up “so render” and “surrender”?
You’ve Heard of a “Go Bag” But How About a…
As we mentioned, listings online are just criminal. We find one here for a “panic basket” as opposed to a “picnic basket.” Take a moment and collect yourself before you post anything online.
We’ve All Been There
This person is clearly going through it as they wrote that they feel like they’ve been hit by a “tracker trailer” as opposed to a “tractor-trailer.” Honestly, who has not shared in this sentiment?
A Lot to Unpack Here
A whole lot can be said of this comment. There’s just so much wrong here that we can barely cope. However, the thing that irks us most is “high standers” in place of “high standards.” Keep them high, reader!
It’s Chicken
While we feel that this comment was well-intentioned, “this is poultry” means something completely different than “this is paltry.” It’s the difference between chicken and pettiness.
A Woman What?
To be fair, “doppelgänger” is a difficult word from German that you might have missed in English class. But, we feel most people have a concept of what a “double ganger” could be and it’s not great.
No One
A pedicab means something completely different than a “petty cab.” Who wants a paltry (poultry!) means of transportation?
What Kind of Moons?
Pheromones are substances that are secreted into the air by an individual and received by a second individual of the same animal species. We have no earthly idea what “pharaoh moons” could be.
Barbed
Be mindful of English class or you could end up thinking it’s called “bob wire” as opposed to “barbed wire.” We all need to slow down, don’t we?
Season’s Not Complete Without a Negativity Scene
We all know and love a nativity scene for Christmas but who wants a “negativity scene”? Not on your watch, right?
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Issues
While we appreciate this person’s candor, we’re positive they meant “sex addict” instead of “sex attic.” What does being a sex attic even look like? Always remember to proofread!
There you go! We hope you paid better attention in English class than these folks did. We all make mistakes but some of the sentiments above are simply unforgivable! But, they are good for a laugh, aren’t they? After reading this list, we hope you chill out and take your time when drafting a sentence. You don’t want to end up on the BoneAppleTea forum on Reddit, do you? You got this!