Kara Keough Bosworth is grieving what would have been her late son McCoy Casey‘s 4-month birthday.
In a touching Instagram tribute, Kara whose husband is Kyle Bosworth, shared a black and white photo of her holding her son’s hand and kissing his head, imagining in the accompanying caption what McCoy would be like today.
The pair lost the baby in April after he experienced “shoulder dystocia and a compressed umbilical cord” during his birth.
“We’d be seeing the Real McCoy by now, the face we could look back on later and say ‘Oh, see, right here, that’s when he starts looking like Mack,’ ” starts Keough Bosworth, 31, in last Thursday’s post.
“Instead, every bulky blonde boy I see is you. That’s just one of the million cuts of losing you so soon, I’m forced to imagine the faces of your stolen future.”
“It’s all a blur now, all the ways you could have been you,” Keough Bosworth continues. “You in your wedding day suit, dancing with me to a song we picked together … that’s all just a dream. And that’s what you’re starting to feel like now — a dream,” she adds. “Did this really happen? Did we ever really have you at all? The answer is a resounding yes, of course. And we always will.”
Keough Bosworth says her baby boy’s name “is our new ‘Hallelujah!’ ” in that “every time the world gives us something beautiful, we shout your name.”
“A butterfly floating in our periphery, ‘McCoy!’ Rows of lavender in unexpected places, McCoy! A rainbow over our house, McCoy! A pod of dolphins on the horizon, McCoy! A warm breeze, McCoy! Lillian’s last round of chemo treatments, McCoy! A pregnant friend, McCoy!” she says.
“And (so slowly) finding our joy among our pain — McCoy! We see you, baby. We love the way you’re showing up for us and opening our eyes to the beauty all around us. We’ll be seeing you again some day, McCoy(!),” Keough Bosworth concludes.
Bosworth is the daughter of Real Housewives of Orange County star Jeana Keough, delivered McCoy during a home birth on April 6. Originally, she had planned to welcome her and Bosworth’s second child at a hospital, like they had for their now-4½-year-old daughter Decker Kate.
“McCoy surprised us all with his size and strength (and overall perfection),” Keough Bosworth shared on the day of his birth. “He joined our Heavenly Father and will live forever in the hearts of his loving parents, his adoring sister, and those that received his life-saving gifts.”
She went on to confirm how she was donating her baby’s organs and has since opened up on social media on the 6th of each month about her grief and how she and her family are preserving McCoy’s memory.