A 22-year-old sister is asking Reddit if she was wrong for calling her sister out after she continues to bring up her miscarriage 10 years later.
According to Reddit user, ChimmyChimmyChoo, her 30-year-old sister had a miscarriage 10 years ago. The user explained that at the time of the miscarriage, it was really devastating for her sister and her family.
“It took her a couple of years to fully heal from it. We’re still not 100% sure why it happened, but it was a one-off and she’s since had three very healthy, beautiful children, including a set of twins.”
The Reddit user admitted that she and her older sister don’t really get along. She explained that her older sister doesn’t like her because she “had to share mum’s attention and because she thought mum left her dad to be with mine.” The older sister allegedly “never really grew out of that resentment.”
ChimmyChimmyChoo described her sister as someone who bullied her during her childhood and teenage years and writes that she still gets jealous when their mom spends time with just her youngest child and not the two of them together.
“When this happens she calls mum and says she’s feeling really upset about the miscarriage and without fail mum goes running. This includes a trip to Paris I took mom on for her birthday earlier this year, which she cut short because sister said she needed her. [It] also includes when I had a manic episode so bad I was hospitalized and sister managed to need mum every time she was planning to visit me and so she never did. Note, these times when mum is spending more time with me than her are the only times sister brings up what happened and certainly the only times she still gets so upset about it.”
Sister Admits She Told Her Older Sister to Stop Talking About Her Miscarriage
Then came the time the Reddit user got horribly sick and their mom came over to make her soup. According to the post, after being able to only hold down water for days, she finally felt well enough to try to eat.
When their mom offered to make her some soup, the older sister reportedly called and claimed that she needed their mom because she was upset. The mom left, telling her youngest that she would have to finish the soup herself.
“I didn’t say anything to Mum and I finished making the soup, but I sent my sister a text saying she really needs to stop bringing it up for attention because she can’t bear me getting some instead. I guess she told mum and her dad because I’m hearing from all sides what a horrible, insensitive, selfish bastard I am and how dare I say that to her.”
The Reddit user said that she understands her sister may still be traumatized, but she “just thinks it’s really weird how that trauma solely manifests whenever I’m getting attention and she isn’t.” Other commenters, who have also experienced miscarriages in their lifetime, didn’t think this younger sister was wrong for calling her older sister out.
One person wrote, “I am 29, I’ve had 6 miscarriages in the last 4 years, and while yes, sometimes I get wistful of what could have been, I don’t fall over sobbing about them. And I’m an emotional person. Granted, people handle things differently, but if she is still that upset, she needs a therapist ASAP.”
Another user added, “I mean I have pregnancy loss & trauma going back almost a decade. I have a beautiful, healthy baby. Does the loss and trauma still affect me? Yes. Do I have my bad days? Absolutely. Do I drag it out when other people are in need? Not a chance in hell. OP is NTA here, although it would be difficult to explain so offline.”
However, while others agreed that the Reddit user wasn’t wrong, they believe she should also be upset with their mother, who they believe is enabling the older sister’s behavior.
Where do you stand?